Dear Diary
by ic.laxieve
Summary: Uh...I was pissed at ep16 and my heart is flying to Lysandre right now so I wrote this LysandreXReaderXCastiel...You already confessed but he just pushed you away? So why is it now that he's after you when it's already too late and your heart no longer feels the same? I havee no idea how I thought of the title..Please read for your own sake...And oh, please review! Danke! nya
1. Chapter 1

**DEAR DIARY (LysandreXReaderXCastiel)**

((A/N: I know that it's weird for me to write this note at the beginning but I just feel the urge to write this…since someone requested for me to torture Castiel (again), I did this and since because her favorite character is Lysandre, I made him Castiel's rival. Just think about it, Castiel and Lysandre are near to be considered as 'best friends'…what if they become rivals? Please read and review))

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(yeah, I chose this border since the '~' aren't appearing on any of my previous stories…gomen for the confusion of my other stories…)

**PART ONE**

'_Dear diary,_

_It seems that he's now comfortable with me. Even though he still has his trust issues, at least he's slowly opening up to me…at least now, he's letting me in. And this is enough for me. But I wish that he will really let me into his heart. I wish he'll soon realize these feelings I have._

_Back when I met him, he was a snob. He didn't talk much especially about his self. He did insult me many a time but I just couldn't and can't explain it as to how I fell for him. Maybe it's because of that look in his eyes every time I talk to him. He would act all tough to me but his eyes were saying something different. It was as if he was afraid of something. I guess he was afraid to trust people. And he admitted it to me one time after I passed through his tough exterior._

_Yes, he really is now opening up to me. He is now starting to trust me. And to prove that, he even slept on my lap one time. He no longer teases me with names but he teases me with things that I easily get embarrassed. But still, even if it's a tease or a serious word from him, I don't mind…as long as he's letting me near him._

_His closest friend, who seems to be his best friend, already guessed my feelings and said that I should confess. But how can I? Or should I?_

_Things were going well already .But SHE arrived. I'm already used to Amber but SHE is different. She constantly tries to get near me, trying to make me her friend. She's also nice to everyone. But that time at the locker room changed everything for me. After telling everything SHE has done, I tried to warn everybody else but it seems that they don't believe me. They even told me to stop trying to ruin HER. I tried to prove that SHE really isn't what they think but it seems that they already took her acts for real and ignored me, avoiding me in the process._

_Now everyone only sees me as a liar who wants to ruin someone's image…except for some…'_

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"What are you doing here?"

I nearly jump from the spot I am sitting on the stairs. I immediately close my diary and look up to see that it's just Lysandre.

"I…uhm…" I stammer at him.

Lysandre eyes my diary and nods. "I'm sorry for not minding your privacy," he apologizes. "I didn't know that you write on your diary here. I guess I'll just talk to you later, then."

But before he turns to leave me abruptly stop him. "No, it's alright," I smile at him. "It's not like there's also any interesting thing in my diary. What do you want me for by the way?"

"Well," he looks to his side to avert my gaze at him. "I just want to check up on you if you're alright with how things are."

"I thought you already know the answer to that ," I reply looking down.

He sighs and sit beside me. "Do you want to talk about it? I can listen to whatever you have to say."

I just keep quiet. I want to say something…something…anything to just let this pain in my chest go away. I am afraid to break. But I am already breaking. But I won't cry. I won't let myself to cry in front of anyone…not even in front of Lysandre.

I am thankful that Lysandre are one of the few who believe me. He is actually the closest ally I have now.

But the fact of Castiel not talking to me like he usually did hurts me a lot. It pains me to see him change his clothes back to his old clothes when Debrah was still studying in the school. But as most people think, his red mane doesn't match his attire. He looks much better before he changed his hair to crimson…for her.

"You're spacing out again," Lysandre points out.

I am thrown back to reality when he said that and I just look at him with apologetic eyes.

"It's alright," he faintly smiles at me. "It's not that I can blame you. Most of your friends think of you as a liar and the real liar gets away safely with everything she has done."

"Lysandre, didn't you talk with Castiel about Debrah's real color?" I ask.

"No. I never had the chance to talk to him," he sadly answers. "That's the worst part, isn't it? Even the man you love doesn't even believe you."

Again, I look down the ground. "I'm actually planning to seek Amber's help for this matter. She knows better about things that have the label of 'revenge' and 'mischief'." I smile a little, thinking of all the times me and Amber fought and now we are technically on the same side who wants to oppose Debrah.

"Don't do anything that can harm you," Lysandre says as he places his hand on top of mine with the lightest touch. "Rosalya already has a plan and she's looking through it."

"But I can't just stand and be hated more and more every day!" I complain. "I have to do something at least."

He just sighs at this, then smiles at me. "You never really give up, do you? First when you heard the noise from the basement, you investigated even though Nathaniel and Castiel were telling you stop. Then, now..." he stands up and looks down to me with a nostalgic smile. "I know I can't stop you from doing what you want so I guess all I can do now is wish you luck."

With that, he leaves. He leaves but a tint of pink creeps over my cheeks. I don't know why but for some reason, I find that smile of his is very different from the smiles he usually give me.

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'_Dear diary,_

_Here I am again. I am such an idiot, aren't I? I should've just followed Lysandre's advice to not do anything that can harm me. I did talk to Amber but she just brushed me off, saying that she knows Debrah's real color from the very start since she knows if a person is faking his or her tears or not._

_I saw her with her friends a while ago, though. And it seems that her plan of revenge is on work. She just dumped a bucket of toilet water to Debrah via window of the second floor. I tried to stop Amber and when I gaze down to see if anyone's hurt, the others saw me and accused me of dumping the bucket! And also, Amber had already run off._

_I got scolded by the principal and she gave me detention while Debrah's furious face are glaring daggers at me but with people around us, it changed to her I'm-innocent-face and started crying._

_I wish…'_

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"YOU!"

I literally jump as I stand up from my seat on the stairs as my diary falls to the ground. I look up and see a very furious Castiel. What is he mad at?

"C-Castiel?"

"I told you stop your lies already, right?! And yet you keep on doing the same thing! But what you did to Debrah was the last straw!"

I cringe at the dangerous tone of his voice. "But Castiel! I'm telling you, Debrah isn't really the girl that you know! She just used you and Nathaniel to be singer! Why won't you believe me? I thought I am your friend!" Why? Why does it hurt to say that word: 'friend'.

"Look, just forget me! Forget that I exist! Stop with your lies and stay away from the people I like!"

I feel that I'm breaking. I want to cry. No, I won't cry. I won't cry! And I speak without thinking. "I LOVE YOU CASTIEL! AND I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO BE BROKEN BY THE SAME GIRL AGAIN!"

With that, I run away. I hear a loud thump behind me. Even though I really don't want to, my head tilts a little to see from the corner of my eyes that Castiel has just punched the wall beside him. And just close my eyes, trying to stop my tears. I continue to run until I bump into someone. I look up to apologize only to see Lysandre with a worried face.

"Hey, what happened?" he asks worriedly.

I just shake my head as I bite my lip. I won't cry! I won't cry.

I think he sees the look in my eyes that he nods in understanding. He gently takes my hand, making look back at him.

"Just let it all out," he says tenderly. "Let it all gone. I will be just here for you whatever happens. Come, and let it all out." He then wraps his other arm around my figure, urging me closer to him.

That's when I break. I bury my face in his chest and cry it all out. I feel his embrace tightens as his hand withdraws from mine to caress my head in a comforting way. His clothes is now getting soak with my tears. I am still in pain but as I listen to his heartbeat, I can feel that it somehow…slowly…calms me down. My cry grows faint until all he can hear is my deep breathing.

"Don't worry. Everything will be fine," he says as he pulls away and wipes the remnants of my tears. "Now, begone with your tears. I really hate it to see in that state…It bothers me. You have a nice smile…so please keep smiling for me."


	2. Chapter 2

**PART TWO**

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'_Dear diary,_

_I have slapped myself so many times this day already. I'm so stupid! So stupid! How could I confess like that? In the worst time, too!_

_Thankfully, Lysandre was and is always there for me. The whole time, we will just sit on the stairs or just hide in the basement as he asks me some suggestions for some songs. It makes me feel happy to know that someone is here for me. And slowly…I am forgetting my problems with Lysandre. He never talks about Debrah or Castiel but rather he will recite some lines of some songs that he already made. He will even sing sometimes but it's always soft. He will occasionally hold my hand, too, whenever I'm reminded of Castiel. I wonder…'_

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"Hey, _!"

I look up from the ground as I walk to the second hallway. I see Rosalya, who is the closest friend aside from Lysandre that I have right now. I stop from my tracks. I was actually on my way to see Lysandre in the basement but it seems now, Rosalya really needs to talk to me. Her face is telling me something is up.

"At last, I found you!" she exhales.

"Eh? Why were you looking for me?" I ask curiously.

"To scold you and to tell you something," she says as she places a hand on her hip. I now prepared for her scolding. "I told you already, right? I told you not to get involve with things that can harm you!"

I look down, remembering the misery that I got myself into. "About that… I'm sorry…I thought that I can do something… but in the end I just made it worse…"

"I'm also sorry to hear of your…rejection…" she sighs, "But I actually have a good news for you."

I then look back up to her face.

"Do you remember about the guitarist that I mentioned? The one who Debrah also manipulated and dumped?"

I just nod my head at that.

"I talked to him and it took me the whole week to make him agree to my plan. He's promised that he will help us!" she says excitedly.

My eyes widen at that. The guitarist is going to help us? Ii know that this should be a very good news for me but I…I feel like I'm still burdened with something though I can't put a finger on it. But right now I shouldn't be bothered so I shrug the thought away.

Later…

Now we're in the basement talking with Lysandre about Rosalya's plan. For some reason, Lysandre invited Armin to join and I don't know any reason why Armin seems to be interested in helping. But I guess it can't be help since he's also one of the few who believes my words although I admit that he's annoying at times but he has some good points, too.

It's already late in the afternoon and I'm sure that the students in the school will start to dispel and go to their houses or just walk around for a little bit. Normally at this rate of time, Castiel would be right here now at the basement, practicing his music with Lysandre but it seems that he won't show up today (not that he showed up for the whole week).

"Are you alright?"

I look to my side and see that Lysandre walking right beside me. I manage to smile and nod at him.

"I already told you that you have a nice smile but that kind of smile you're giving now seems to annoy me," he says. Then he flatly adds, "Quit faking it. I hate to see a fake smile from you when I know that something is bothering you."

My smile slowly fades away from my face at his words and I exhale exasperatedly. He always knows when I'm fine or not. It seems that he can feel everything that I can feel. It's as if I'm a glass that he can easily see through…but like glass, I also tend to break easily.

"What's wrong? You know that you can always tell me. I always have time to listen to you."

"I don't know what's wrong with me…" I slowly explain. "I know I should be happy that the end to this nightmare is now on the tip of my fingers but…some part of me is saying: What's the point? I'm already broken…how can one put all those shattered pieces together? If no one has put Humpty Dumpty back together, then—"

"Stop saying things like that," Lysandre cuts me off with a hard voice but it softens as he continues, "Please stop saying depressing things like that…" He suddenly gets in front of me and stand there, stopping me from my tracks. "I know you're hurt…but you should know," he then takes my hand carefully and gently lifts it up and puts it on his chest where I can feel his heart beating fast. "I'm also in pain."

I just stand there, stunned from his words. Pain? Why does he feel pain? Not knowing what to say, I remain silent and he takes it as a cue to go on.

"_, all this time I've been with you, spent my whole time with you…I don't know how to explain it but I feel happy but still hurt. I'm happy because you're with me but I'm also hurt when I see you sadly staring off the space and the pain only gets worse when I see you in tears. How can I possibly be completely happy when I know that you're hurt?"

"L-Lysandre…"

"How can I possibly not be in pain when I know that you…" he looks down and slightly glares at the ground. "That you still love him…"

I stifle a gasp as he says that. What am I suppose to say?!

My track of thoughts broke as he looks back to my eyes. It's as if my thoughts are now in a jumbled mess as I stare back at him.

"Tell me, do you still love him?"

My eyes widen. Do I still love Castiel? Do I still have feelings for him? I close my eyes, wanting to clear my thoughts. These days I've spent with Lysandre, I haven't thought of Castiel at all. It seems that I am forgetting him though the pain is still there but not as worse as before. I open my eyes only to be met by Lysandre's expecting one.

"I…I am now forgetting him…But the pain is still…"

"I love you, _"

My face furiously blush at the sudden confession. "EH?!"

"You heard me," he smiles gently and takes my hands which he's still holding to his cheek. "I love you and I always have. At first, back when we first met, I was just curious about you. Then I began to like you but I lost hope when you admitted to me you like my friend. But now is different. I've just realized my feelings for you back when you cried. That face…with those tears…I can't help but to be angry at Castiel."

"Lysandre…I…"

"If the pain he cause is still there…Let me help you heal it…I will make you forget all the pain…all this nightmare has brought you…I can't promise but I will make you happy."


	3. Chapter 3

**PART THREE**

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'_Dear diary,_

_The day has come to reveal Debrah's real personality. The guitarist has already arrived and he told me that he's sorry to hear that Debrah's ruined my high school life. He also told me everything about Debrah's act by the time she manipulated him and the drummer. He told me how he wrote a blog of fury to let the world know through internet about Debrah's perks. But it seems that she blocked his site and has it censored. How she managed to do that? I don't know and I don't think that I will ever want to know._

_Rosalya's plan is to have Peggy announced that there will be a meeting for all students. Nathaniel has also decided to help by letting us use the Student's council room as the meeting place. He will also do the introduction since Rosalya forced him to do it. I'm excited but also nervous. Nervous, because I know that Castiel will be there. What will he say after this? Will he apologize? Or will his love for Debrah cause him to stand up for her? I hope not._

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(CASTIEL'S POV) _(oh…the first switching of POV for this story eh? Hehehe…I'm so random at times. Sorry!)_

What's up with them now calling every student for a meeting? He has better things to do!

"Hey, Castiel! You're going to the meeting, right?" Debrah comes up to him with the beautiful smile of hers.

Even though his feelings for her is not as strong as before, he can't help putting his guard down for her. It seems that after some years of not seeing her, he still hasn't moved on—or has he?

Nevertheless, he focuses back to Debrah. "You're going?"

She sheepishly smiles at him and he knows that he won't be able to say no to what she's going to say. "Yeah…Can we go together?"

Yeah, he still can't resist her. He just nods. And off they go.

When they arrive at the Student Council room the others are already there. And so is _she_. There, the girl who has just confessed to him about some days ago. He feels guilty of the words that he has said but he feels something else. HE can't put a finger on that feeling. No, it can't be that he likes her! He already has Debrah! Or is he just tricking his own self?

"Hey," Debrah lightly pats his shoulder and chuckles lightly. "You shouldn't be daydreaming at times like this. The meeting is starting."

He just blinks his mind back to reality and tilts his head to her. "Uh, I wasn't daydreaming."

She just giggles at this. "Yeah you also told me that last time. Anyways, don't space out anymore, Nathaniel is glaring at us."

Glaring, huh? He turns his attention to Nathaniel and slants his eyes. Nathaniel is the one who nearly stole Debrah from him. Sure, they were good friends but he made the mistake of touching others belonging and Castiel isn't ready to forgive him for that.

"Everyone, as you all know, this is a meeting," Nathaniel starts talking. "So I hope that all of you will listen and won't interrupt to the speakers. Is that understood?"

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(NORMAL POV)

All of the students in the room echoes off a united 'yes'. It's weird to hear Nathaniel talking so seriously like that but I already expect it. Lysandre has told me that Rosalya is the one who forced Nathaniel into this and she's the one who made a 'script' for him. I never have expected that she will really go that far to make sure that the plan will go smoothly as expected.

"And also," Nathaniel continues. "If anyone in this room will interrupt, I will have you know that you don't have any rights to speak up until the end of this meeting," he glares at everyone, especially at Debrah, as he finishes.

Nathaniel has everyone seated on the chairs around the table. He also seated himself as the ex-guitarist of Debrah's stands up to the front. I watch as Debrah's calm face turn into a nervous one although she still keeps up that 'innocent' smile of hers. She can't fake me now. I can see it in her eyes that she is afraid to be found out.

The guitarist sets his laptop on the table and has it face to us so that everyone can see whatever he wants to show. He then begins to speak. I can see Debrah's clenching her fists on her lap under the table as the guitarist tell us how he met Debrah and how he became her guitarist. He also unfolds the relationship between them at that time until she betrays him. He tells us that it was too late when he realized that he was just being used. In his fury, he wrote everything in his blog.

In evidence to his statement, he turns his laptop on and shows us his blog which is isn't censored since he is the user. Everyone in the room gasps except from those who already know. Debrah's face is pale. Castiel, even though he's trying to keep still, his eyes shows confusion and astonishment. The guitarist continues and telling off Debrah's acts and snake-like personality. He unmasks her in front of us and unveiled her dirty secrets.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" finally, Debrah snaps. "THAT'S ALL LIES!"

Everyone looks at her. Here we go again with her tearing act. From under the table, I feel Lysandre holds my hand. I immediately look at him and already know what he means.

"Don't worry, she won't get out of this one," he voices out my thoughts. "I assure you that."

I faintly smile at him as I nod.

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(CASTIEL'S POV)

What's going on here?

"You who have gotten away repeatedly with these schemes of yours will never get away now," the guitarist continues. "Debrah, if I were you, you should apologize to everyone in this room especially to her." He points to where _ is sitting.

Beside Castiel, Debrah stands up, tears leaking from her eyes.

"What did I do you, _? Why are you doing this to me?" Debrah chokes out.

He's still confused. But he can't deny the fact that from the very beginning, a part of him has doubted Debrah but he keeps on being blind because of his so-called 'love' for her. Still, he wants to try to defend her.

"You. What's the meaning of this?" Castiel speaks up. "You really can't stop until you mess up Debrah, huh?"

"She's already messed up from the very beginning, Castiel," Rosalya snorts.

Debrah sits back to her chair and clutches Castiel's arm as she cries. "Castiel, they really won't stop until they hurt me!" she sobs.

"Stop with these lies already!" Castiel angrily growls at Rosalya, the guitarist, and to Nathaniel who has already stood up, probably planning to talk if Castiel has not beaten him to it.

"I… I'm sorry but I don't think that Debrah would do such…" Melody chokes out as she stares at Debrah.

"I can't believe it either…" Iris utters.

The other girls and Alexy seems to be quiet as they just watch yet unbelief is etched on their faces.

"_! How can you do this to me? You planned this all along, right?!" Debrah continues to sob. "Just as I thought we can be good friends…"

Castiel doesn't know what to do. A part of him believes what the guitarist has said but a big part of him doesn't trust the guitarist's words. He looks at _. She is looking down at the table her hands folded on her lap. But that's not the only thing he notices—because Lysandre is holding her hand.

Why is Lysandre holding her hand? Castiel knows that his friend doesn't trust Debrah but he didn't expect that Lysandre will be by _'s side on this. But the big question is: Why is Lysander by her side? Castiel thought that Lysandre decided to be neutral to this issue and yet…

"Everyone, will you please keep quiet for a while."

Lysandre stands up.

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(NORMAL POV)

I look up as Lysandre stands up. He looks down at me and gives me a faint smile then his face goes serious as he faces the others.

"Unknown to the others, I've also invited a person who has decided to come out of his hiding place to unfold the truth about this …harlot," he glares at Debrah. "I'm sorry if I didn't tell you Rosalya that I also made a move. I just want it to be a surprise. Please, come in now," he calls out.

The door of the room creaks open and all eyes land upon the person who has just entered.

I don't know who that person is but he looks familiar. From the corner of my sight, Debrah's face etched in panic and stun. It seems that she can't hide her real reaction anymore since her jaw drops as the person glares at her.

"So we've seen each other again, Debrah," the man says, venom dripping from his voice as he calls her name. Then he looks at the others and to the guitarist who he gives a curt nod. "To everyone here, you don't need to know what my name is. All you need to know is that I was a drummer of this…" he points at Debrah as if he is pointing at a horrible object.

I look back to Lysandre and sees him smiling softly at me.

"Surprise. I can't just let Rosalya have all the work," says he. "I also have to do something for you."

I don't know why but I'm glad. I am so glad to know that he went all the trouble of talking to this drummer. I remember Rosalya telling me that Debrah manipulated two persons once before, her guitarist and drummer. She also said that the drummer went to hiding already so I know that it was hard for Lysandre to find him. But Lysandre found this drummer and even brought him here…for me.

"Thank you, Lysandre," I manage to voice out.

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'_Dear diary,_

_At last, the nightmare is over. The drummer provided evidences of Debrah's real color. He restated all the things that the guitarist had said. He also provided the pictures that he had with Debrah when she was still 'nice' to him. Debrah tried to deny all of it but the drummer provided more pictures that a random guy he knew had taken—pictures of Debrah—the real Debrah._

_Now all of the students believe everything I told them. At the end of the meeting, Debrah tried to run away but the guitarist and the drummer prevented her from going anywhere. Everyone also apologized to me. Except him…_

_Castiel walked out of the room after the drummer showed all of his evidence. No one knows where he went._

_But as Lysandre said, I should not worry myself anymore. In fact I should be celebrating…_

_I have nothing to worry about now…The nightmare is over…Now I should focus on my feelings—my feelings for…'_

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"_?" someone calls.

I look up to the person only to be greeted by…

((A/N: Nope! This isn't finished yet! Eek! My first cliff-hanger! Or is it really my first? Anyways I'm just celebrating…I may write a Castiel one-shot next…since I'm finished mocking about ep 16…And I may write some Final Fantasy 7 one-shots, too! So watch out FF7 fans! I'm focusing on FF7 Crisis Core and FF7 Advent Children by the way! Ja ne!))


	4. Chapter 4

**PART FOUR**

"_?" someone calls.

I look up to the person only to be greeted by…

SLAP!

It's as if my world shakes at the impact. My hand flies to my now red cheek. I look back to the slapper and sees that it's Debrah. Her face is so furious. Her tears from before is now replaced by a death glare.

"You! You dared to humiliate me!" she shrieks. "I won't forgive you for this!"

"What is there to forgive? I didn't even do a single thing to you!" I shot back.

She then slaps me again. Right now, some tears are stinging on my eyes due to the pain.

"That's for meddling with my business!" she shouts at me. "The other slap is for humiliating me! And this one…" she prepares to slap me again, "is for—"

But before her hand can land on my other cheek, another hand grips at it, stopping it. Me and Debrah both looks at the person and we are both surprised to see…Castiel!

"That's enough, Debrah," he growls.

"C-Castiel?" she gasps.

"Enough already! I've heard enough from you and the others! It's over already so stop making things worse for you!"

"Castiel…" she stutters.

There goes the tear façade again…

"What's going on here?" suddenly, Lysandre arrives and immediately stand by my side.

If ever you're wondering where we are right now, we are by the school's backyard where no one really seems to go to except from some.

Debrah throws her tearing scheme away and now glares at Lysandre.

"You! I will never forget what the two of you did!" she screeches. "I—"

"Give it up, Debrah," I calmly say. "Back then, I hold back my tongue back because I don't want to make things worse but now is different. If I were you, just let it go."

She points a finger at me but says nothing. She then angrily huffs and stomps away from us, walking out.

I then feel Lysandre holds my hand and I look at him. His face etched with concern.

"Are you alright?" he asks worriedly.

And I nod at that.

"_..." Castiel utters. I turn back to him. "I…I understand if you're angry at me. And I know that it's quite too late to say this but…I'm sorry. If you want, you can slap me to get back at my previous cruel actions."

I just watch him. It's obvious that he really is sorry. But in his eyes, I can tell that he wants to say something else. I wonder what that is.

"It's not like it's your fault, Castiel," I decide to voice out. "And I already have forgiven you."

"Heh," he faintly smirks though a bit hesitant, "You really are just a good girl, aren't you? Forgiving people so easily…but…thank you, _"

=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.After a month=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=

(CASTIEL'S POV)

Now everything is back to normal. _ and the other students whom apologized to her has settled down the matter and decided to forget what happened. Castiel, too, has decided to forget what happened.

After one month of settling down his thoughts, everything is now clear to him. When Debrah came back, he doesn't love her anymore. He was just with her because he felt responsible to be by her side, after all, they had a past history. But he doesn't love her anymore. He even doubts if he really did love her in the first place. Maybe, he was just attracted back then. Because…he now knows what it feels to really love someone.

When you love someone, you feel contented just to be by that person side. You feel so glad every time you see that person happy. You feel so energize every time you see that person's smile. And most of all you feel so alive because of that person.

And that's what he truly feels about _. He never knew what he really feels all this time not until he starts seeing her more often with Lysandre. He thought back then that he's just not used to it until realization hit him that it's just all because he's really jealous. Around that time, he has realized also his true feelings for her.

And he knows that sooner or later…he has to confess.

"Castiel?"

He looks up to the person who called him. Currently, he's cooping at the basement under the stairs, tuning his guitar.

"I thought no one was here…" _ says as she looks around and looks back at him. "What are you doing here?"

"Tuning my guitar obviously," he answers with a smirk. "What about you? What are you doing here?"

He then notices a notebook that she's holding but as soon as his eyes lay upon it, she hides it behind her.

"Nothing…" she says, a faint blush sneaking upon her face.

He just sighs. He wants to think of something they will talk about, after all, he doesn't want her to leave yet. And his lips form words without even considering his thoughts.

"_, I have something to tell you," says he.

"Hm?"

At this moment, he has no care about whatever his brain says. It's only this feeling for her that matters for now. "I know this seems out of blue…but…all this time…I really have been so stupid."

"Uh?" and then she giggles. "And you've just realized that?" she teases.

"I'm really stupid for not realizing sooner these feelings I have from you," he then places his guitar down and stands up from where he sat on the ground. He now faces her completely. "_...all this time…I…" he then stares deeply into her eyes as three sincere words come out from his lips: "I love you."

=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=

(NORMAL POV)

"I love you."

My eyes widen at that. It can't be!

"Stop kidding around, Castiel," I say. "It's not funny!"

"I'm not kidding around," he stares deep into my eyes. "I'm serious, _."

Seriously, this can't be. Because today…it has been a month since _that_ day…

=.=.=FLASHBACK=.=.=

"_I love you, _"_

_My face furiously blushed at the sudden confession. "EH?!"_

"_You heard me," he smiled gently and took my hand which he was still holding to his cheek. "I love you and I always have. At first, back when we first met, I was just curious about you. Then I began to like you but I lost hope when you admitted to me you like my friend. But now is different. I've just realized my feelings for you back when you cried. That face…with those tears…I can't help but to be angry at Castiel."_

"_Lysandre…I…"_

"_If the pain he cause is still there…Let me help you heal it…I will make you forget all the pain…all this nightmare has brought you…I can't promise but I will make you happy."_

_I didn't know what to say. I myself wasn't sure if I already gotten over Castiel… No…I was sure already. My feelings had vanished. I still saw Castiel as a friend but it was not like before. Because, as hard it was for me to admit it…all this time…the only one that I was always thinking of was Lysandre..But was it really okay for me to accept him?_

"__," he chided. I looked at him and saw his smile turned into a sad one. "I knew it…You still love him, do you not?"_

_I closed my eyes and sighed. I cleared my mind. No, right now, I didn't have to use my mind…just my heart. I open my eyes once more and stared back to him. "No, I don't love him anymore…"_

_His eyes widened a bit at this. So he never expected for me to say that. Then I continued._

"_Ever since you're with me, bit by bit, I started to move on….until one day I just woke up and realized that I have gotten over him," I say. "And ever since you're with me, I never felt so happy. I'm so happy just being with you not knowing why. I always feel safe with you. And that time, when you held me as I cry…I feel so warm…I feel I'm loved."_

"__..." he uttered. "Is that true?"_

"_I do not have any reason to lie to you," I smile at him. "Because I feel…the same way about you, Lysandre."_

"__..."_

"_I love you, too."_

=.=.=END OF FLASHBACK=.=.=

Before I can even say a word, the door of the basement opens. Both of us look to who the person is and it turns out that it's Lysandre, holding a bouquet of my favorite flowers.

"Lysandre…" I utter staring at him.

"Ah, Castiel, you're here, too," Lysandre says.

"What's with the flowers, Lysandre?" Castiel asks. "If you're going to give it to someone then go and give it already. Why should you go here if you need to give that to someone?"

Lysandre smiles, mainly at me. "Actually that special someone is here. I don't need to go elsewhere." He says as he walks to me hands me the bouquet. "I'm not really used to this kind of thing but…" his smile turns into a sweet and loving one. "Happy one month."

I can't help but smile as I receive the flowers and let him embrace me. "Happy one month to us," I say. But then, I remember about Castiel…

"I see…" Castiel utters as he watches us.

Lysandre then pulls away. "I nearly forgot, we're not alone. Pardon my bold action, Castiel."

Castiel smirks but not his usual one. I can read it through the look that he's giving us that he's…hurt. "No, it's alright, Lysandre. I never knew that the two of you…"

"Ah, that," Lysandre sighs. "You know that I'm not someone who likes broadcasting my life. I just don't feel the need to tell anyone. After all, I always make it clear with my actions about _ and I."

"I see," Castiel looks down to the ground. "I'll be leaving the two of you then. See ya, around."

He then begins to walk away.

"Castiel," I mange to speak.

He stops from his tracks and tilts his head to the side to me. "It's alright, _. I understand. Hey, Lysandre, can I ask you a favor?"

"If I can do it, why not?" Lysandre replies.

"Take good care of _. If you don't, I'll make sure that you'll pay the price."

"Hn. I will, it's a promise."

"Thanks."

With that, Castiel leaves the room.

"So where were we?" Lysandre asks as he pulls me back to him.

I just smile at him. Then my face shows a bit of hesitation. "You know…Castiel…he…"

"Confessed to you," he finishes my statement. "I heard it through the door."

My eyes grow wide at this. "You were listening!?"

"I _heard_ it without the intention of listening, my love," he replies. "But I'm glad to know that you didn't—"

"I won't," I cut him off. "My heart cannot be stolen. It beats only for you."

He smiles at again. "And same to mine."

With that last word, he leans closer to me and the next thing I know is that his lips are against mine in a sweet kiss. I know that I've made the right decision—the decision of moving on and loving someone who is really meant for me.

=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=

(CASTIEL'S POV)

He walks out of the basement and walks aimlessly. Now he truly knows that it's love what he feels for _. Because it's too painful to bear the truth that she is already taken. And to make it worse, she's taken by his closest friend. But what can he do? Nothing. Because if it's really love that he feels for her then he should be happy that he knows that she'll be happy with Lysandre. At least he's assured that Lysandre won't make her cry. At least…

Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop.

The rain pours as he steps out into the school's courtyard. It's too painful to fall in love. Too painful to fall without anyone catching you. But he's happy. He's happy that she'll be happy. And he will be contented in watching her smile even though her smile is no longer for him.

He looks up the sky, rain pouring on his face just like his tears as he let them out.

"Hey,_," he whispers through the raindrops. "Do you remember? Today was the exact day we first met."

=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.FIN.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=

((A/N: I know that there are too many A/N in this story so please forgive me and if this story sucks, sorry 'cause I wrote every chapter at the same time of different days: midnight to dawn. Well, this story's done. I better focus on my half finished one-shots that are in my head right now. I don't even know what to start with! Should I write a Castiel oneshot for MyCandyLove fandom? Or should I write a Gilgamesh one-shot for my Fate/Zero fandom? Or should I write a Kadaj oneshot for my FF7 fandom? Or should I write a Krad oneshot for my fandom? O.O" Don't know what to do! HELP!))

((A/N: thanks for reading by the way! Reviews will be highly appreciated! Nya~))


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